Drunk Santa

Because I know you love these crazy people stories.

Last Friday after a shopping trip and dinner with Alisa, we were partaking in some adult beverages at a bar near her boyfriend's shop.  At the time we got there (approximately 7:30) there were a total of 5 people at the bar, not including employees.  Us, the gentleman we were sitting with, and two guys down at the end of the bar, one of whom bore a close resemblance to Santa Claus.  Now, Santa had definitely been tossing back a few, and from the looks of it, he'd been doing it for awhile.  Apparently the younger guy he was sitting with got a kick out of him and kept buying him drinks.  Strong ones, from what I could tell.  Our friend Drunk Santa was swaying to and fro and slurring his speech something terrible.  Little by little, people started trickling into the bar and the bouncers took up their posts at the doors, all the while Drunk Santa continued guzzling what I like to think was whiskey (I think all grizzled old men should drink whiskey.  It just seems right), and his new friend showed no signs of closing his wallet and cutting off the drinks anytime soon.  Eventually we lost interest in the Drunk Santa show and about an hour went by.


What happened next took approximately 60 seconds start to finish.

From the other end of the bar I heard what sounded like a door slamming over and over.  I looked over to see Drunk Santa repeatedly lifting the counter flap (you know, the thing they lift to walk under, I don't know the proper name for it) and slamming it back down while gesturing wildly about something.  People in the area were starting to look a little nervous.  The bartender told him very firmly that he had to stop doing that, or he would be asked to leave.  Apparently (the bartender told us later) Drunk Santa responded by threatening to kill him; which translated roughly from the Latin is, "please throw me out, I've had enough."

In record time, the bouncer flew in from the front door, grabbed Drunk Santa in the 'guy getting tossed out of a bar' hold and made for the door.  But Drunk Santa would not go quietly into that good night, and for an old guy wrestling with someone about half his age, I gotta say he held his own.  As they approached the door he threw out both of his arms and braced himself against the sides of the wall so the bouncer physically could not eject him, despite several attempts at different throwing techniques.   In the end it took three guys to get him out.  One on each side pinning an arm down and the bouncer to push as hard as possible to actually get him out the door.  This tactic was apparently so forceful it landed Drunk Santa in the middle of the street.  Luckily, there was very little traffic just then so no harm done, but wow.  It was something to see.  I'm still amazed he never tried to get back in, but the bouncer did shut the door behind him so maybe that proved too great a barrier to overcome.

The remainder of the evening was fairly uneventful yet still fun, mostly because we just kept retelling the story of Drunk Santa to each new person that came to join our little group.  Good times.


As a quick recap of the rest of my weekend, Saturday most of the day was spent with some friends watching the MSU game (tragic) and eating Cheesecake Factory and then watching the Red Sox game all the while drinking Sam Adams Oktoberfest (which is really really good.  You should get some, it's delicious and by the way when did I become a beer drinker?  Very weird).  Sunday I did nothing (it was pretty great) and during the week I'm as lame as lame can be so there's no story there, as I'm sure you're all very tired of my tv recap posts. :) 



Now then, everyone do your part and watch Pushing Daisies tonight!  If they cancel that show I will take it very personally and put the blame on all of you.  I'm serious. (ok you're right, I'm not.  But I will be very sad)