Master Mechanic

At the moment, I have another house guest (we'll call him HG 2.0).  Some subtle differences between the previous squatter and this newer model:  this one comes with a semi-fixed end date (as HG 2.0 is leaving the country shortly) and this one comes with a car.  What's more, HG 2.0 went out of town over the weekend and left me custody of said car so that I was free to roam about as I pleased (I never miss having a car until I'm driving one and then I remember how much I love it.  Until I buy gas and then I remember the parts of car ownership that suck).

The one problem with this situation is that last week HG 2.0 noticed that one of his headlights had burned out.  He said all week he was going to get a new one, but we're talking championship level procrastination here to the point where it was 7:00pm on New Year's Day, his flight was leaving at some unholy hour on Friday morning and he was calling around trying to see if any places were open (though I can't really judge, I'm a pretty high ranking procrastinator myself).  As you may or may not know, it gets dark on the East Coast at about 4:00 during the winter (which is really great for seasonal depression, let me tell you), so having one headlight out seriously limits one's ability to go places in the later part of the day without the possibility of being pulled over.  And I'm a total rule follower, so I was paranoid about going out after dark sans one headlight with an out of state car, because I was pretty sure I would be pulled over immediately (I should note that I already think I'm going to be pulled over at any second because I'm sure I'm doing something wrong that I'm not aware of.  I pretty much always think I'm doing something wrong that I'm not aware of.  Is that weird?).

So, anyway.  As I like to think I'm pretty nice (when it counts if not all the time), I offered to get the headlight replaced on Saturday morning while he was gone, using some of the money he gave me for rent.  For some reason my offer made him nervous, and he kept insisting that if I wanted to get a new headlight I could and then he could just put it in when he got back.  I appreciated his total lack of confidence in my abilities, but I assured him that from my experience the friendly people at AutoZone would help me change the headlight (I mean they help with windshield washers).  He still seemed unsure but was probably afraid to come right out and say, "I think you will break my car, please don't touch it" for fear that he would sustain bodily injury, so he just let it go.


Saturday morning I woke up bright and early and headed out for Operation: Headlight Replacement.  I arrived at AutoZone, walked right up to the counter and triumphantly declared that I needed a new headlight for a 2000 Honda Accord.  The friendly worker found my item in the computer, retrieved it for me, I paid for it and left (yes, without asking for any help).  I got back to the parking lot where I noticed a sign that said, "no working on cars in parking lot" which led me to believe that even if I asked for help I would not get it because it would constitute working in the parking lot, and I also reasoned that I am a fairly intelligent person and perfectly able to follow the directions I was pretty confident were in the owner's manual.


I returned home, got out the owner's manual, popped the hood, took apart all the pieces that required taking apart, looked at the headlight in the car, looked at the headlight I had purchased (but thankfully not opened) and thought to myself, 'one of these things is not like the other.'  I then flashed back to my time at the store when I said, "I need a new headlight for a 2000 Honda Accord."  See, the major problem with this statement is that what I actually needed was something to fit a Civic.  Serves me right for being all cocky and Ms. Know-It-All-y.  Surefire recipe for me to do something stupid like say the wrong model of car (the worst part is I KNEW it was a Civic.  I'm really not that much of an idiot, I just come across that way sometimes).


A short time later I walked back into AutoZone with my tail between my legs and the same guy remembered me and said, "is there a problem?  did you need the high intensity?"  I sheepishly told him that it was actually a Civic, not an Accord.  He chuckled a little and switched them out for me.  Once again I was on my way.  I did not ask for help again because I was determined that I would do something right, and that something would be replacing the headlight all on my own (which I have never done before) without ruining HG 2.0's car.


While I have to say the directions were not entirely as helpful as I would have liked, I managed to successfully change the light, without accidentally touching the halogen part of the bulb (which apparently can lead to overheating and explosions...nothing like the threat of hot miniature explosions to make you be careful).  Everything was put back together successfully, and my friend need never know that I did it without supervision (except that I'll probably tell him and it'll sound something like this - "so even though you think I'm a moron who can't follow directions at all I changed the headlight in your car ALL BY MYSELF and did it perfectly, thankyouverymuch."  And I may follow it up with sticking my tongue out).  And I know he doesn't read this so there's no way he ever needs to find out that I originally got the wrong headlight (except that I'll probably tell him).

This new and functioning headlight allowed me to spend some time over at Alisa's watching girly movies and eating some completely delicious homemade pot stickers, and to go to the mall where I bought giant fluffy new pillows, and to return me safely to my home.  And I suppose it will also allow me to go pick up HG 2.0 from the airport this evening.  Two headlights really are so much better than one.