that guy

Allow me to tell you a story of a man I saw on the bus yesterday. A ridiculous, ridiculous man. We'll call him That Guy.

We're talking about a guy who was probably in his early to mid-40's. Salt and pepper hair, of medium height and build.

That Guy was rockin a pair of Versace sunglasses with a white Tony Soprano looking shirt and black slacks.

That Guy was standing in front of where I was sitting talking to his friend and while I couldn't make out exactly what he was saying, it looked like something along these lines, "hey buddy buddy, blahblahblah buddy!" each 'buddy' being punctuated with a play punch to his friend's arm or midsection. He was even hopping around like a boxer a little bit (kind of a challenge on a moving bus). In between play punches, he was grabbing at different parts of what I like to call the balance pole, but not for any longer than about 2 seconds at a time. First high, then low, the in the middle, then dangerously close to hitting me in the face, back to high, etc.

At the first requested stop, the bus driver opened both the front door and the back door (where this guy was standing). As the door opened That Guy got all huffy and turned toward the door as though he were about to fight it. Luckily for the door, it closed quickly and was spared any abuse. From then he seemed to realize that when the bus stopped the door would open, and he resumed his friend-punching, pole-grabbing activities.

Standing sort of near That Guy was another guy holding a completely beautiful bouquet of roses (whiteish-yellow with maroon around the edges. Really pretty). That Guy turns to him and says, "hey buddy, nice with the flowers, you know?" Flower Guy responded with, "yes, it's good, right?" But That Guy came right back with, "Calm down, it's not that cool, pal, they're just flowers" as though Flower Guy had challenged him in some way.

At this point his friend (who I see quite often and has always seemed fairly normal) indicated that they should just get off at the next stop. I think he was starting to be legitimately embarrassed (and/or afraid this guy would start a fight). After they got off I saw them walking down the street, with That Guy continuing the boxer dance fake punch thing, but now that his movement was less restricted it included a jumping around and getting right up in the face portion.

I really hope he was on something.