Totally random things about me you never knew you wanted to know

1. I hate condensation on the side of a bottle/can/glass.  It’s necessary for me to have a napkin/towel/tissue on hand at all times to keep that situation under control.  If there’s too much condensation, I will try to pick up said object with as little of my skin touching it as possible.  Even though I know it’s only water.
2. The reason I like to wear flip flops all the time is that my toes need freedom.  I like to stretch them out (which a childhood friend once told me made me look like I had duck feet).
3. You know that song from Alice in Wonderland, “I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it…”?  That song could have been written about me.  It’s practically my motto.  But, you know, not in a good way.
4. I have a very hard time (near impossible) sitting still.  It is for this reason I hate going to the beach with people who want to lay out in the sun.  I can’t stand just laying there.  I feel like I’m taunting the sun or something, “hey, I’m right here!  I’m not moving!  I dare you to burn me!!!”  And I always think it’s been about 2 hours when really it’s probably been 5 minutes.  I’m pretty sure this also makes me really annoying to sit next to in a movie theatre or on a plane.
5. When I’m in an awkward situation I start talking and can’t make myself shut up.  For example, if I’m having a conversation with someone and it’s not going well (we have nothing in common, we’re not hitting it off or whatever) all of a sudden I will notice that my mouth hasn’t stopped moving.  At that point I can feel my brain start to shout, “Shut up!  Stop talking!  You’re coming off as totally insane!  They don’t care!  Shut. Your. Mouth.”  But I never do it (see #3).
6. When I get really nervous and/or tired, I start to cry.  It’s hugely embarrassing.  Two examples:  1 – Homecoming the first year after I graduated college.  I was visiting with all my old roommates and we got up really early Saturday morning to go tailgating (like 7am).  We drank all morning and then went back to have a party nap (around noon).  I, however, went out with another friend who was still living in Mt. Pleasant for what I thought was a couple of hours.  It turned into me being hijacked until like 9pm despite almost constant begging to let me go take a nap, I was exhausted, etc.  By the time I finally made it back to where my old roommates were and they were getting ready to go out for the night having rested all day, I just burst into tears and had to stay home because I was so tired I couldn’t pull myself together.  That was awesome.  2 – When I was giving my notice at my job in Michigan before moving out here, I was so afraid that my boss would be mad at me for leaving.  I psyched myself out about it so much that as soon as I sat down in her office I started to cry.  She ended up having to comfort me through my whole quitting speech, and she said she pretty much knew it was coming when she saw I had scheduled an appointment with her.  I felt spectacularly lame.  I think she ended up quitting about a week after I did to take a new job, so that explains why she wasn’t upset with me.
7. At the same time, when I’m sufficiently pissed off about something, there is no fear when confronting said situation.  For example:  when I was on the softball team in high school, we lost this one game senior year we really shouldn’t have lost.  Afterward our coach was so mad he made us all go home and each write him a one page paper on how we threw away the game.  I’d had beef with this guy for awhile over some of his coaching decisions and interpersonal skills, so I ended up writing a two page paper on all the reasons he was a terrible coach and shouldn’t be allowed near children.  Then I gave a copy to him and to the athletic director at our school.  I was so filled with rage at this man that I couldn’t make myself care what the consequences were or if he yelled at me or whatever (and generally speaking, I really can’t handle it when an authority figure or perceived authority figure yells at me.  See #6).  From that moment on, this guy went out of his way to be nice to me (probably because there were all kinds of facts to back up my accusations).  The rage is powerful.  I should keep that in mind, but again.  See #3.
8. At work I can hear the music being pumped into the patio of one of the restaurants below, but it’s kind of muffled and usually results in me getting a completely random song stuck in my head that sounds vaguely like what’s coming from below.  When that happens I’ve been known to spend the afternoon doing this weird bouncy dance thing I do in my chair while said song runs through my head on a continual loop.  I’m pretty sure everyone I work with thinks I’m crazy.
9. I don’t really believe in the concept of one best friend as far as it relates to my life.  I know plenty of people who have the whole best friend thing and it’s great for them.  For me, not so much.  I think it’s too much pressure to put on one relationship.  This could also be why I’m not married. J
10. According to Amy when she was here last weekend, I have my “things” that I’m very weird about.  I don’t know how many of these things I have, but she mentioned at least two:  She says I’m weird about my nose (I mean it’s a big nose but I think I have a normal amount of concern over the size of the pores on my big nose.  She thinks it’s a thing) and that I’m weird about my drinks (I’m not entirely sure what this one is about but she said it just after I mentioned that when it came to my new tea drinking habit I would start with raspberry flavor which I already know I can tolerate and branch out from there.  Is that weird?).
11. Sometimes I have a tendency to overshare.  See the first 10 items on this list.