if only I were in charge of everything

Last night I went to go see what I thought would be a funny, entertaining movie with a couple of friends (on a school night, no less!).  It was a 9:50 showing of I Love You, Man.  9:50 on a Sunday night.  I don't know why, but I expected that people who go to movies late on Sunday evening would know how to behave.

I was so, so mistaken.

The movie itself was funny, and I'm sure I would have enjoyed it (though we agree - it's no Role Models).  However, I can't be too sure until a second viewing because I definitely missed stuff thanks to the rudeness of EVERY OTHER PERSON IN THE THEATER.

It was so bad.  At this point I'm pretty immune to one (or two) person(s) in a theater acting inappropriately (talking, playing with their cell phone, etc) and I've gotten pretty good at tuning it out so that it doesn't affect my movie going experience.  This was on a whole other level.

The first sign of trouble came about 10 minutes before the movie was set to begin, when a large group of people walked in with several children in tow.  Children.  To an R-rated movie.  At 9:50 on Sunday night.  Children age 8 and below.  Couple of infants.  So not the right decision.

The women sitting in front of us chose to make liberal use of the fact that the seats rocked which would have been annoying enough, but I'm pretty sure they never stopped chatting for the entire movie, except for the 3 or 4 times they had to get up and move around.  

The man sitting to my left had quite possibly one of the most obnoxious laughs I've ever heard, but I try not to judge.  I was too busy being irritated at the asides he kept giving to his friends and the repetition of lines that had just been said on screen.


The couple sitting behind and to the left of me were having some sort of relationship discussion or something, with no effort whatsoever to keep their voices down, no matter how many dirty looks I gave them.

The group right behind me was doing much the same, but also apparently working on some plans for after the movie, if the cell phone conversations were any indication.  "What?  I'm at the movie.  No it's the end.  NO IT'S THE END OF THE MOVIE."  Several people shushed them at one point, but that only made them louder in defiance.

Another guy sitting to the right kept pulling out his cell phone and playing with it during the movie as well.  It was at that perfect angle where every time he lit up the screen it caught the corner of my eye.  I'm pretty sure he took a couple of calls as well.

At one point in the middle of the movie, one of the infants got hold of a rattle.  And shook it for a good five to ten minutes.

There were side conversations going on all through the theather, and I know I missed quite a bit of dialog (which is partly due to the fact that the sound really wasn't as high as I'm used to in a movie theater).

All things said and done, it was pretty unbelieveable.  The best part is that it wasn't just a regular theater, it was this deal called the "Director's Hall" where the seats are supposed to be nicer, they're assigned, and the theater employees will take your order and bring concessions to you if you so choose.  So of course, the tickets are like $12.50.  Nothing like paying extra for a worse experience (before you ask, we didn't complain and ask for our money back.  We probably could have, but it was late and we were tired and they are kind of jerks there so it's not guaranteed they would have done anything anyway.  Plus, I didn't actually pay for my own ticket and I hate to complain because I don't want people to think I'm high maintenance).

I officially don't love any of the people in that theater, man (you know, except for the people I went with who actually know how to behave in public).